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Check this out!

Postby Setash » Tue May 23, 2006 11:43 pm

My 10 year old son has decided to write a book. He got the idea of this after reading Eldist and Eldarr by Christopher Paloni. Keep in mind that he has written this on WordPad as the computer he is using does not have Microsoft Office on it. No adult has helped him at all with this. We have not even given him suggestions as to how to make it better, we are saving that till we see how far he actually takes this book writing. :)


Chapter 1:Changes

Gaile ran the rest of the Dark Elves out of the village stopping only to scout for a good place to camp.Gaile was a sixteen year old watchcaptain.He had dark hair,blue eyes,a strong body,and a taste for adventure.The villiage had won few of the many battles they had faced this month.Gaile went out hunting an hour or so later after the battle ."C'mon DeathBracer we're going on a hunt."DeathBracer was Gaile's kraishe.A kraishe is an armoured werewolf taught how to fight and speak.
Gaile and DeathBracer were on their way to the Dark Forest,otherwise known as the Shadow Cloud,when a line of soldiers came into view.As the mist swirled around him and shadowed his movement,Gaile hid in the lush green vegitation of the trees while DeathBracer crept closer for a direct attack.The soldiers spotted DeathBracer and unsheathed their weapons.DeathBracer charged and jumped onto a soldier knocking him to the ground.DeathBracer didn't hesitate,all he did was attack and he had already killed half the soldiers.Gaile tried to help but his feet wouldn't budge.He was to afraid to move.A cavelry archer pierced through DeathBracer's greaves and sent him to the ground."No!"screamed Gaile.DeathBracer was still alive but not enough to fight he would have to get up and run or die.A second later a barrage of arrows came out of nowhere.Gaile took out his shield and defended DeathBracer.A soldier came out from behind them with a spear in hand.It's a trap,Gaile realized.He sheathed his shield and took out his broadsword,but he was to late.The soldier had struck Deathbracer in the back with his spear,killing DeathBracer.He swung his sword and killed the soldier.Gaile ran into the forest,blinded by bloodshed.He charged dodging every arrow,sword,and spear,until and an arrow caught him by suprise,piercing his shoulder sending him to the ground with agonizing pain.He struggled to get up and ran into the forest.He stumbled falling onto his back where he lay for several minutes until he could see beyond his pain.Once he got up he figured he was in the middle of the forest and could see two rays of light glowing within the brush in front of him.He checked behind the brush and found two exquisite stones.
Gaile picked them up gaping at them wondering what they could be or how they got there.One of these stones were of a golden color and the other snow white.He could see two shadows forming within the stones as if some creature were dwelling inside of them.The piece was smoothe,thicker,and stronger than most stones.
He had to find out what these stones contained.Gaile went out to the smithhouse on the southside of the village after he hid the stones."Hiya Gaile,what'cha doing?You don't possibly need anything from me do you?"said the smith."Well actually Craotos I need a new set of armor,arrows,and I need two new swords stronger than the other ones you made me."said Gaile."Well,if you need it I'll make it Gaile."responded Craotos."Thanks.Oh,and can you make two longswords one out of gold,another diamond,and a broadsword made of both gold and diamond?"pleaded Gaile"Fine,come back tommorow and I'll have it ready."after his encounter with Craotos,Gaile went over to Faelin's Enchantments.Gaile walked over to the counter and asked Faelin if he could enchant his armor and swords to make them lighter once they were finished."Sure thing Gaile but you need to have one hundred gold coins,twenty silver coins,and ten bronze coins."Gaile was suprised about how high the cost was but he could manage.Gaile was a watchcaptain which paid fifty gold coins per day.He worked the night which ment he got double the pay of a watchcaptain that worked the day shift.Right now Gaile had a totall of five hundred gold coins,twenty silver coins,and ten bronze coins which meant he could pay Faelin's price easily.It was was nearly afternoon when Gaile went to bed.He was used to sleeping early and working through the night.By the time he got up it was about time for him to take watch.He buckled on his shield,broadsword,bow,set of arrows,and his armor and headed toward the barracks.
He got their just in time.The warchief Jirkitar gave Gaile his orders then set out toward the gates.Gaile's orders were simple,travel the barracks and if he found something he would send one of his men to warn the others.Gaile traveled the barracks keeping a sharp eye on the shadows of trees and bushes.All of a sudden an arrow flew through the air.It was the Dark Elves again but this time with reinforcements of kraishe,orcs,and a few bandits."Go warn the others I'll take care of them."ordered Gaile,but he didn't know how he would do it.He would need his new weapons and have them already enchanted.Gaile took out his bow and nocked three arrows.The arrows shot fiercly flying through the air killing a dark elf.Then they attacked a barrage of arrows came again the same type of arrows Gaile had seen earlier.He realized they were trying to kill him earlier and they must be working with the soldiers at Shuirte.Gaile hurriedly sheathed his bow and pulled his shield off his back.He managed to block himself before they got to him."WE SHALL NOT SURRENDER TO THEM!"shouted one of his fellow watchmen.All the watchmen and soldiers ran through the gate while the archers and catapults readied themselves on the edge of the barracks.Gaile found himself jumping off the edge of the barracks unsheathing his twin silver swords.Gaile mounted a Kquar warhorse and said in his own native tongue."Ride FireHeart,ride like the wind!"
Whenever they passed an enemy Gaile would kill the foe.He had already gotten hit by three arrows all on his left arm causing him to bleed furiously.When they finished the battle Gaile and fourteen men were all that were left alive.Gaile left for home with FireHeart carrying him so he would not be wounded ever more.The next day Gaile found himself in Carieene the healer's house,fully healed.He rode FireHeart over to Craotos's smithhouse only to find his armor and weapons along with a note.Gaile,I set these out for you last night.I went over to Shuirte for more supplies.Leave 50 gold coins on the counter.Once Gaile collected his armor and weapons he set the fifty gold coins on the counter.Then he headed back over to Faelin's Enchantments,got Faelin to enchant his armor and all his weapons then paid him.Gaile buckled on his new enchanted armor and weapons altogether it felt about ten pounds.Gaile went down to the creek along with FireHeart and five barrels.He filled all of them to the top then sealed them.He packed four on the horse's back and the last one on his.He traveled back to his personal barracks where he lived.He set the five barrels of water out by the back where there was a well that he dumped it in then he placed the metal frame back on top of it.Gaile went back over to the Watch Barracks where he found Jirkitar."You will be promoted to warlord which means you will work double your time for triple your pay.You will work four hours in the day and four in the night.You will be granted a squad of thirty of our finest soldiers since we have recruited more from our neighbor on the northside,Zilon.You will have fifteen archers fifteen soldiers.You can station your men wherever you like.You have to keep them near you at all times and if a warlord dies you can take control of that units squad.You will also get a hundred fifty gold coins per day.When you prove yourself you are ready to become a masterlord you take control of five warlords along with their squad,but until then you will be under my command since I am a masterlord."announced Jirkitar."You will start now.Take your squad,station them,and search the ground for any signs of an enemy.Gaile was taken aback by the sudden change but he did as he was told.He created three groups.All the groups had five soldiers and five archers.He stationed his group on the southside and the other two on the east and the time he was through he felt as if it had already been a week.When the day was done and he worked his shift he fell asleep.
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Postby Borimorg » Wed May 24, 2006 12:11 am

I think it's pretty darn good for a 10 year old bro!

I hope he continues :)

Dang his soldiers get paid well.

I wanna be in his army :D
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Postby Mandarr » Wed May 24, 2006 11:34 pm


The boy has a lot of talent. If you wish I can post his piece on my website,, it's mainly for writers. I can do a quick edit for him as well if you wish, just let me know.

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Postby Setash » Thu May 25, 2006 12:25 am


Thank you for that interest. I will talk to him tommorrow after school and see if that is something he is interested in. I feel it is best to let him make the decision for himself. Again, thank you very much!
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Great story!

Postby Fleeting/Saeene » Wed Oct 25, 2006 2:28 am

Tell him to write the next chapter.. I can't wait to read it :-)

Postby Euan » Wed Mar 14, 2007 3:28 pm

/bump to get this ahead of the restored archives
Disclaimer: The views expressed by the cranky board admin may not be aligned with those of MLF leadership.
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