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pregnant ones

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 7:31 am
by Blooddrive
Pregnancy Questions & Answers:

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

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A man and his wife were making their first doctor visit prior to the birth of their first
child. After everything checked out, the doctor took a small stamp and stamped the
wife's stomach with indelible ink. The couple was curious about what the stamp was for,
so when they got home, the husband dug out his magnifying glass to try to see what it
was. In very tiny letters, the stamp said, "When you can read this, come back and see
me."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

A lady from a foreign country who could not understand much English wasn`t feeling
well and went to see her doctor. After examining her he said, "You are pregnant. Please
understand that you have an insufficient passage and if you have a baby it will be a
miracle. "The lady rushed home crying and told her husband, "The doctor says I`m
pregnant and I have a fish in the passage and if I have a baby it will be a mackere!"

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

A pregnant lady was in an accident and she woke up in the hospital. She noticed she
was not pregnant anymore and asked the nurse what happened to her baby.

The nurse said, "You have two healthy babies, a boy and a girl!" The lady said, "Oh, I
must name them,” but the nurse said, "You were unconscious, so we called your
brother, and he named them!" The lady said, "But he's as dumb as a box of rocks! So
what are their names?" The nurse said, "The girl is called "Denise." The woman replied,
"Well that is a pretty name, so what did he name my boy?" The nurse replied,
"Denephew!"
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