All in the name of progress

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All in the name of progress

Postby Grolits » Tue Dec 05, 2006 10:00 pm

Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

973 : Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack’s rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

2006 :School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1973 : Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

2006 : Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Jeffrey wont be still in class, disrupts other students.

1973 : Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.

2006 : Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.

1973 : Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2006 : Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.

1973: Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2006 : Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.

1973 : 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers.

2006 :Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more careful next time.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1973: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2006: Pedro's cause is taken up by political parties. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cant speak English.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1973 : Ants die.

2006 : BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.

1973 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.


All in the name of progress!
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Postby Carlisa » Thu Dec 07, 2006 10:33 am

You forgot the part where the parents sue the police the school boards and anyone else involved..


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Postby Blabberpuss » Thu Dec 07, 2006 10:43 am

Yeah then they all appear on the Jerry Springer show, and get into a grappling fight, and pull each other's tops off displaying some fuzzy boxes over the spots where their boobs would be, acknowledging to all the world that they had been abducted by aliens who conducted cruel experiments on them..
... like a speeding car with jammed door locks, cut brake lines, a dead steering wheel, and air vents that pump nitrous oxide. Everyone is dimly aware the country is heading for the edge of a cliff, but no one can muster the energy to search for alternatives.
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Postby xileksis » Thu Dec 07, 2006 12:53 pm

let me add one to the list.

1973 your car is considered your personal domain and not subject to search and seizure with out due process and a warrent.

2006 your not waring a seat belt you are pulled over body cavity searched your car is dismantled and they find one seed of unknown origin you are shoved in a dark room bright light is turned on and you are questioned for 8 hour with out access to your lawyer.

after that your car is impounded at your expense for 250-400 dollars a day and you cant get it out as the investigation is still on going mean while you are still paying the impound fee ...
and 2 weeks go by and they still have not identified the seed.
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Postby Zzzapp » Thu Dec 14, 2006 6:35 pm

These are funny to laugh at, but also very real in our world. Times have changed so much since the internet.
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Postby Dashun » Fri Dec 15, 2006 6:11 am

but at least we have EQ now
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