For all those with Daughter's

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For all those with Daughter's

Postby Smoosei » Wed Jun 10, 2009 4:44 pm

cute !!! I'm happy I have boys myself hehe


APPLICATION FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME______________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH______________

HEIGHT____________ WEIGHT_____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #___________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES______________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS__________________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP_____

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
_______________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ________________________________

If less than your age, explain ________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Do you own a van? _______________

A truck with oversized tires? _______________

A waterbed?_______________

A pickup with a mattress in the back?_______________

Do you have an earring, nose ring, or a navel ring? _______________

A tattoo?_______________

(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?______________________

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________

Church you attend ____________________________________________________

How often you attend _________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are
confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

_____________________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

_____________________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

_____________________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

_____________________________________________________________________

What do you want to do IF you grow up? ______________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

What is the current going rate of a hotel room? _____________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE
BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE
AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER
TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_____________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for
processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not
try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you
injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two
gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch
your back).

Spyritmoon
Cleric of MLF
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Re: For all those with Daughter's

Postby Zzzapp » Wed Jun 10, 2009 6:28 pm

Having boys, means they might have to fill one of those out someday?
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Re: For all those with Daughter's

Postby Smoosei » Thu Jun 11, 2009 11:26 am

Well your right about that haha..

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Re: For all those with Daughter's

Postby Shrunk » Fri Jun 12, 2009 11:45 pm

My daughter is 13. I'm printing out a few of these.
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Re: For all those with Daughter's

Postby Krrak » Sat Jun 13, 2009 4:54 pm

I prefer Bill Engvall's method...

1) when the boy comes to pick up the daughter, greet him with a handshake
2) once the boy in firmly in your grasp, pull him in close
3) say quietly to him, "that is my only little girl, she is my world and her mother's treasure, so if you have any thoughts of hugging or kissing or anything, just remember these words.... I have NO problems going BACK to prison!"
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Re: For all those with Daughter's

Postby Sofearra » Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:53 pm

My daughter is 11 years old now and is already wanting a boyfriend (thanks to her father and his girlfriend!) But I really like that app! However KP justs wants to meet the boy face to shotgun methode himself! :P And my son is going to be too busy for girls in his teen years by golf lessons and anything eles we can put him in. :D
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Re: For all those with Daughter's

Postby Smoosei » Fri Jun 19, 2009 6:33 pm

And my son is going to be too busy for girls in his teen years by golf lessons and anything eles we can put him in.


Now that's smart !! I like that haha!! :lol:
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Re: For all those with Daughter's

Postby Darkenr » Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:55 am

One of my dad's friends gave me some really good advice once about having kids, and especially having a daughter.

If you have a son, you have one prick to worry about.

If you have a daughter, you have every prick on the block to worry about.


.... And of course, what am I having first in august? *sighs* ... A daughter .... I must buy lots of guns, and swords, etc to have something menacing to clean when she in the future brings home boyfriends...
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Re: For all those with Daughter's

Postby Aatelin » Sat Jul 11, 2009 6:46 am

You don't need alot of weapons, just need 1. when she tells you she has a date.....let her know you would like to meet him for atleast 15 mins before they go out, prior to his arrival have your weapon on the table disassembled, if you were in the military get a expert's badge even if your really a poor shot and lay it out with the pieces. when he arrives you should be cleaning the weapon, never make direct eye contact. look as if you are studying the weapon....you are one with the weapon......leave plenty of *Uncomfortable* silence in the conversation, near the end re assemble the weapon. if for some reason he was stupid enough to still be there....load the weapon....aim the weapon and tell him he has a 5 second head start :) i have 2 daughters of my own and i have had this planned since the birth of the first.
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Re: For all those with Daughter's

Postby Zzzapp » Sat Jul 11, 2009 10:02 pm

hehe , no grand kids there.
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