IQ cards

This is the place for all those funny jokes, links, and general tomfoolery! [Public]

Moderator: BatMonk

IQ cards

Postby Blooddrive » Fri Apr 07, 2006 1:08 pm

(i started to correct all the errors in this, but when i noticed the huge amount of them, i said screw it. read at your own iq's risk. could prove fatal to the few points some of us have. BD)

As our governments try and control us even more, by telling us all how useful ID cards would be to the nation, I decided it was about time I aired my ideas to make the world a better place! We can all see ID cards may have some use, for easy identification or authorization, but in truth, it will probably just lead to more fraud as crime rings master how to copy them! Unlike the revolutionary IQ cards, with the risk of on the spot IQ tests, it will cut down any real way of scamming the system. Unlike the ID card which would secretly be used to track us, watch us, and generally spy on us. The IQ card will simply be there to stop stupid people being stupid outside the privacy of there own home!

Places where the IQ cards would be useful

Pubs and Clubs
now of course each pub or club could set its own IQ standards and possibly be made to have it displayed clearly near the entrance next to the dress code and other policies. Knowing that there is a minimum IQ level on the door, will give you a good idea of what to expect inside. This can be helpful in two ways, not only in choosing if you want to enter the establishment, But aslo give you a clear guide as to what stories / jokes to tell. Saving everyone the embaresment of having to explain them.

The IQ level will then be used to set the level for the alcohol allowance, with out actually having any facts to prove this, I think most would agree, the dumber somebody is the more likely they are to cause a fight over who can piss the highest, or drink so much that they fall down the stairs! Using the simple IQ to Alcohol level guidelines, we could cut down a huge amount of fights, accidents, and unwanted pregnancy’s.

At first you might be fooled into thinking that this is an area where the IQ card would be redundant. But that’s probably because it’s you I’m mocking! By issuing an IQ standard for each establishment, not only do we once again not have to deal with screaming swearing football fans and dribbling idiots. But they don’t have to put up with us, sighing and looking down at you.

Nobody wants to hear you struggling to pronounce crème Brule, when all you want is a bowl of custard! (Oh wait... forget it) So lets save us all some uncomfortable moments and let them show off the knowledge of the mc Donald’s menu, to people that will appreciate it. At least then you won’t have to worry about arguing who had the salad and who had the steak! The pound saver menu does the work for you!

each new product will not only have to be tested for safety, they will also have to pass an IQ test. So before purchasing anything from a fancy high def TV to a not so fancy toaster, the end user will have a good idea if they will be capable of using it.

This will not only save a lot of embarrassment and possibly accidents. But will save the manufacture millions in technical support and user error breakages. Therefore bringing the prices of there products down, and cutting down the amount of things people point at in there houses with a blank look saying "err yeah, we got it last year, dont no how to stop the clock flashing tho"

Rather then insurance company’s simply relying on there clients telling them how much things are worth, where they are going to be stored, and how is going to use them. To work out how much the premium should be, they can now bring IQ levels into the equation,

Lets face it my dumb neighbour is much more likely to leave the keys in the car, spill tea over the keyboard, or have a problem with taking things apart to see how they work and lick live cables to see if they are live or not than I am, so why not let him pay a premium for it!

(stolen from, which is usually marked NSFW for you underagers/overprotective ones)
Blooddrive RunsFromHeals
90th Holy Defender of Mystical Lightfighters

wherever there is fire,
i will bring gasoline!
User avatar
Posts: 534
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2006 8:23 pm
Location: evergreen, colorado

Return to Funnies

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest