Plane uv Diseez to open Day Care Sentur!

An Article by Chitz

Aftur months of speculasiun, it was confurmd yesturday dat Verant has desided to open its furst in-game Day Care center. Da Happy Funtime Lerning Senter will be addid in todda Plane uv Diseez witda next patch. Da massive four-room day care senter, wich, according to "Fatty", will "provide a safe and fun lerning enviurnment fer kidz between da ages uv one and sevin," haz already begun spring enrollment.

Doe still severul weeks away frum complessiun, Da Happy Funtime Lerning Sentur is already up and running inda uppur levulz uvda castle inda Plane uv dizeez. Among da most popular activiteez der, are fingur-paintin, storytime, and Duck Duck Goose, which "Fatty" himself often helps leed.

In addition to enjoyin many fun gamez and lernin new activiteez, children attda Happy Funtime Lernin Sentur have already gotten to witness da awful and horribul deths uv several large raiding groops making der way into da castle true da windowz looking out ovur da courtyardz below.

Last Friday, in the middul uv a coluring activity, da Guild Furyz Edge was completely wiped out and eetin by da castles "pets" inda courtyardz below, delighting 23 uvda 24 childrin who witnessd da effectivniss uvda day carez security sistymz. Da sole excepsiun wuz Libby Phelps, age 4, whose muddur and faddur were both memburz uvda raiding pardy. She was frightend by da loud exploziuns uv spellz and da crying uvda groop memburs hoo were still alive when dey wuz eetin by da diseezed umburhulks. She den began to cry upon realizin dat her muddur and faddur, hoo were 2 uvda gildz clericks, were now ded. Da castlez elite squad of magus sorcerurs lept into actiun, removin da gerl frum da room and givin her sum ise creem treetz to calm hur down.

Accordin to Verant, da idea forda senter sprang up aftur a number uv playurz complained about da lack of quality care dare childrin were reseevin while dey fought in norrath.

"Az a Druid, and muddur of three, I'm very exsited about da new day care senter," Kelethin citizen Iluvia Treesprite said. "It be a safe, nurturin environmint, one in which me child will lurn tingz."

Added Mrs. Treesprite: "For yeerz I took me daughter to werk witme becuz me no cood afforda nanny. Doju hav ani idea how hard it be to try to quad kite otturz witta two-yeer-old pullin at jur leg?"

Evin doe der iz much dangur in actually getting jur kids into da PoD castle, past da varius mobs, and up todda dare care sentur itself, verant iz hopeful dat da ability to drop jur kids off for a fun day uv lernin will make it eaziur for peepole all across norraf and luclin to be able to groop witout havin to wurry bout der kidz. Except unless,.. ju no be levul 46. Den ju no can gets todda day care centur. Or, if ju be levul 46, inda planes, ju die and unlevul, and den jur kidz be stuck inda castle.

The opinions in "The World According to Chitz" may not represent the views of MLFNN and are solely the opinion of Chitz