Shadowknights lack breastmilk

An Article by Chitz

Hi der all. It's me again. Me guess dat da editurs liked me so much, dat dey desided to hire me on fer good. So, der be no way me cood argue wen Tseeth came upto me and sed, "Chitz, I understand that there is a lot of ill will between Paladins and Shadowknights. For your next assignment, I want you to find out why they hate each other, and try to find something that connects them." Aftur he wuz dun, me went and got meself a dictiunary to look up allda big wurdz he wuz sayin,.. den me set out on me next scoop.

True alot uv resurch, me was able to find out many instancez inda histury of norrath dat point to a time wen der wer no shadowknites, der wuz only Paladinz. Me found dis inda library in eroodan, which be no easy ting fer a self respectin troll like me to do. But tanks to me press pass, da eroodites no tryz ta kill me, and dey let me ju'z der library. Anywayz, me found a few ancient tomez dat says many tings bout how da Shadownites ferst came to be.

It turns out dat Shadownites be Paladinz, dat no wuz brestfed wen dey wuz babyz. Now now,.. me no'z wutju all gunna say. "No way chitz! Ju be heeps rong!" Well, me gun tellju to stuff it. Me dun da reserch, so me can type wut me wants to,.. ju no like it, ju go gets jur own column. Anyways, terns out dat a study followin da pregnanciez uv 300 muddurs in norrath reveeled dat wen a muddur no brestfed hur newborn baby more den one time,.. da chancez uv dat baby growin up to be a shadownite wuz increesed by upsta 70%. Da study went furdur to say dat if da muddur wuz also an iskar crack hore, or a hooman one,.. dat da chances also went up an addissiunal 25%.

Me found deez resultz to be astoundin. So me sets outsta find me own study. Me interviewd a predominint Paladin by da name uv Flintrock Irunforje, and anuddur popoolur paladin by da name uv Boreemurg. Turns out dat dey wuz born on diffurint sidez uv norrath, and dat dey no known each uddur until dey joined da gild. When questiond bout der childhoods, dey both had many tings in commin. Turns out dat dey waz both well nurished paladinz dat wuz rased in a luvin enviurnmint, and taught to do sum weerd ting calld chivulry, or sumtin like dat.

Den me went and talked to a hi levul Shadownite dat me knowz byda name uv Darkjakul. He wuz must helpful witda questiuns, and evun was so open, dat he began to weep at times when talkin bout how he no known his muddur, as she wuz walkin da streets uv norrath lookin fer her next fix uv C3.

Me took me research todda smartist eroodite dat me knowz, named Yiari. She reviewd me infermatiun, and after many experiments, she came to a cuncluziun. Biologicully speekin, der be a chemical in da brestmilk uv muddurs dat be called "Agitatus Shadowknitacus" it only be presint inda brestmilk betweenda secund and fifth munth uv a childz life. Accordin to miss yiari, dis vitul chemicul be wut regoolates da bodies responsis to differint circumstansis. She sed dat an experimint wuz dun along deez lines wit a groop uv eroodite childrun. One groop was given brestmilk for da furst yeer uv der lives. Da secund groop wuz given da blood uv freshly killed newbeez.

Da furst groop lerned to do such tings as read, rite, lern filosofy, and dat chivulry werd. Da secund groop did no wansta lern how to do nuttin cept kill tings and wine bout da furst groop havin nicer lookin teeth. So, it be da view uv dis publicassiun, and dis repordur,.. dat da only diffurince between shadownites, and paladinz, be dat shadownites dun nebbur tastid a booby, or ben abul to get da vitaminz dat a normul persun needs to grow and matoor into a helfy adult. So remembur evribuddy,.. don't go judjin da shadownites by der violint actiuns, or der roodniss,.. it no der falt. Woodnt ju be da same way if ju ben razed by iskar crackhor? Try to judje jurselvz, before ju judje uddurs.